This came up in conversation because we were both agreeing on how tasty Italian sausage is. “But it’s so unhealthy,” he lamented. I comment that it’s funny to hear this coming from a guy who eats a tuna-melt with fries nearly every day at lunch.
But it’s fish. He says.
Mercury. I remind him.
The mercury levels are minimal. He counters.
How about those fries? I ask.
Aren’t they healthy? I thought they were baked. He makes a call to the restaurant and confirms that the fries are indeed fried. He looks a bit morose.
My boss enters the fray by reminding him of the mayonaise that goes in the tuna. And the cheese, I jump in again.
Mayo’s bad for you? He is genuinely surprised. He is thinking this over and remembers something.
Have you guys heard about how those styrofoam containers that your take-out food comes in, it’s bad to put that in the microwave?
I wonder without saying it out loud if perhaps the minimal amounts of mercury in his tuna-melt have something to do with this apparent lack of awareness of the contemporary world. I silently take bets on when he’s going to ask me about that crazy game of six degrees of separation with Kevin Bacon movies. Instead, I just nod.
As for lunch, he has decided to continue ordering the tuna-melt (I always figured I was getting a healthy lunch. I mean, it’s not fast food, right?). He’s going to order something else instead of the fries.
EDITED TO ADD:
I can hear him placing his lunch order now and he’s requested a different side (fresh fruit), and he did ask them to include some tomatos, lettuce…and bacon.